"Hey guys, wanna come stare at the sun with me?"
"Kind of busy here Ma, you were terribly late with lunch today."
"Oh c'mon, this is your once(or twice)-in-a-lifetime chance to partially watch a total solar eclipse. There are millions of people who have traveled thousands of miles for this opportunity. There are massive hordes crowding themselves onto the hot, arid plains of Oregon, camped out for days just to watch this."
"Better them than us."
"Well, OK, I happen to agree with you on that one, but are you sure you don't wanna check this out?"
munch, munch, chew, chomp, munch..."Did you say something back there?"
"So much for eclipse enthusiasm from that side of the fence. How about you Connor?"
"I think this could be very, very dire. It could even mean the end of the world!"
"Wow. I didn't know you felt so strongly. What do think is going to happen when the sun goes dark?"
"Of course I feel strongly, this could be bad! It could distract people from the truly important things in life. Like throwing the frisbee."
"OK then. Thank you for your input."
"What about you Stepchild? Birds are supposed to get all weird and confused, how are you handling this epic event?"
"Who cares. You took my favorite roosting bale away, the one I've been sleeping on and craping on for months. All in the name of barn cleaning. You are a terrible, horrible creature, far below my notice."
"Right, nothing new to report there. Let's just go check out how the eclipse is progressing..."
"Hmmm, guess we should'a worn shades. Not a whole lot to see there either unless you want to go blind."
"Kipper, we haven't heard from you yet. Cats are supposed to be mystic astrologers, what words of wisdom do you have to share for us during this incredible time?"
"Sleep, eat, and pet the cat."
"This party doesn't seem to be living up to all the hype....
Here's some astronomical action going on!"
"I guess the dire predictions of the doomsayers have passed us by once again. Whew."
"Heck, I even got the hay barn all cleaned out while the sun was bit less intense (much to the dismay of certain chickens). Truly an incredible experience on this historic day."
"Well folks, there you have it: live, after the fact, in-depth coverage of the Great Eclipse of 2017. Brought to you by the crew of The Dancing Donkey, reporting this very late-breaking news to you directly from the top of HellWind Hill."
"Hey, did anyone bring beer??"