Saturday, May 15, 2021

Another Contentious Election

I know you have all been waiting on pins and needles for the outcome of the name election.  I apologize for the the delay in reporting the results, but you know how elections are these days......Here's what happened:

I was trying to find the name that stuck to this little guy and I had some great candidates.  Names have term limits, though, and can't be reelected after already serving a full term.  That knocked out my first choice, along with many others given that I am getting older and have known a lot of animals.  Under pressure from lobbyists and special interest groups, I finally narrowed the choice down to two options and the election began.  

That is when the lobbying really started.

Under pressure from all sides I became disillusioned by both parties.  While the politics were flying hot and heavy, I did what I always do - I hunkered down and played with my puppies.  This particular puppy has an extremely strong sense of self and opinions on everything.  He was completely uninterested in either of the name candidates.  Instead, every morning, he climbs to the highest possible peak (his chair), and proclaims I AM. 

The name is something like: grawrie-arri-orrruuuu

Who am I to argue with such a clear statement?  The only problem was how to translate that into something we pitiful humans can pronounce and use on all those pesky adulting things like vet records and recalls.  So, after even more debate about the pronounceability of Rory or Roarey or Rawrie, Farm Buddy and I did something that seems to have been forgotten in our modern politics - we compromised and agreed on:

Orrie *

*Please note that this was a legitimate election.  My vote counts more than yours because I buy the food, pay the vet, and share my bed with Orrie.  Farm Buddy's vote counts because she is my best friend of nearly 30 years, has to provide babysitting, and will never let me hear the end of it.  Orrie gets a vote because dogs (even baby dogs) should be respected for the amazing, wonderful, intelligent creatures that they are.  There will be no recounts and insurrection attempts will be put down with the shame and ridicule they deserve.    

Welcome to the farm, and to the deep parts of my oft-cracked heart, little Orrie.