In September, I learned that the man I buy hay from passed away. Some of you may recall that he got hurt badly by one of his cows, but was recovering. Then, complications developed and suddenly he was gone. People like to think of cows as slow, simple, bucolic creatures. They can be dangerous as hell and when they go after someone, it is fast as a striking snake with much less warning.
I am not sure why this got to me so much. I did not know this man particularly well, but I have been dealing with him for several years now and he always struck as a tremendously kind and decent man, which is a very rare thing these days. His wife was with him the last time he was here and they were both people who could have become good friends. I am sure his loss has been a terrible tragedy for her and the rest of his family.
Not long after I heard about that, Oliver disappeared. I didn't think much of it at first, given his wandering ways, but he has been gone for over two months now. I think he used up one life too many. I wasn't going to say anything, but a couple of people have already asked about him, so I guess you all should know. I like to think he found a warm spot to move into and just decided to stay there, but I know it isn't true. It's odd really, I am not much of a cat person and I was highly annoyed when he first showed up, but he managed to do what few cats ever have and wormed his way into my affections. I knew that was a bad idea, he was bad news right from the start. Isn't that always the way?
So, what is one to do when the world feels sad and out of control?
Clean the barn.
I'm sorry it's been a sad time for you. I think if Oliver is truly dead then he died way he lived, on his own terms. That might have been ok with him, since he could have chosen to stay in your barn and been safe, but he didn't. I'm still sorry. Those big characters are hard to do without once you have met them. xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. Some days it seem like everything that pops into our minds is something sad. Cleaning, especially something outside, always makes me feel better too. The barn looks great! I would love to have a big barn just like that.
ReplyDeleteOh Kris. {{{hug}}}
ReplyDeleteA few years ago we endured a string of losses - all sudden including Blossom . It's like being caught in a series of strong waves: just when we get our footing, another one comes.
ReplyDeleteOliver. a free spirit is free to the end. I'll miss him too.
Cleaning the barn is a brilliant salve. Order restored in the frustration of randomness. Hug,
I do understand how you could feel such loss at the passing of someone who was "merely" an acquaintance. Some people/events really strike at your heart. And then there are CATS. We try our best to protect them and they just won't be corralled into a nice safe existance. They prefer adventure. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteThe end/beginning of a year seems to find us surrounded by unexpected change. I am not sure why. Sometimes the ones we least expect, linger on in our minds & hearts forever. Processing is a good thing. Your barn is so clean, even if only for a while.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I hate loss also .... blacgh#@&^!!! And I too find cleaning the barn very therapeutic - it's a good metaphor. Happy New Year to you and may 2016 smile happily upon you and all your critters.
ReplyDeleteIndulging in a cleaning frenzy is good for the soul :D
ReplyDeleteHoping 2016 brings happier events.
I am sorry for the loss- I too miss my kitty who disappeared. It's hard because we can't know what happened only hope that it was quick.
ReplyDeleteWhen I need some time I too start cleaning the barn. For some reason that makes me feel WAY better than cleaning the house....
I'd rather be with the animals any day than with people. I am so sorry for you loss.
ReplyDeleteCleaning can be very therapeutic. The barn looks fantastic. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteSorry to read that you are having to go through sad times in so many ways. Cleaning the barn was a very good idea and it looks great. Peace.
ReplyDeletePutting your space in order is very calming and letting your mind work over emotions while your muscles are occupied is like therapy. Sympathy for your losses and sadness. Good people/animals deserve to have tears shed over them even if the relationship wasn't long.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for the loss you've experienced as of late. Good folks, both people and animals, are such a joy to have in our lives; it's so hard when they are gone. Oliver seemed like such a sweet kitty. It's too bad he had been bitten by the wanderlust bug. RIP, good folks.
ReplyDeleteOh. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry to hear about this farm tragedy. Some of the hay farmers I've dealt with are the nicest, most conscientious folks I've ever met. Really good people. The world needs more of them, not fewer.
Also very saddened to hear about Oliver. It surprises me myself, how reluctant I am to write about it when an animal passes. And they do. It's inevitable. I still don't really understand why the reluctance, some potent mix of grief and guilt I suppose. It's very hard to put it out there for people who weren't there. But, I guess the lesson (for me) reading your blog, is that your readers care and their sympathies are with you. A little prayer for you and Oliver coming your way.