Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A Little Misunderstanding

"Hey Ma,"

"Yes Emma?"

"When are you going to teach me to drive that thing?"

"Uh...what, you mean the lawn mower?!?"

"Yeah, you keep saying you're going to teach me to drive, so when do I get to drive?"

Oh boy.  "Emma, that just so isn't the kind of driving I've been talking about.  I want to teach you to pull a sled or a cart, that kind of driving."

"WHAT!!!  That is the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard.  What does me pulling a sled around have to do with driving?  I don't see any correlation what-so-ever? Lordy-be, that's even sillier than this mythical baby you keep talking about.  I think we should stick with my plan...So, which do I get to drive, the red or the green one?"

"Em, I'm sorry.  I can't teach you to drive either of them, they just aren't designed for donkeys.  You wouldn't be able to reach the pedals.  I really don't think you would enjoy it anyway, it's very boring, noisy, tedious...Besides, it would be redundant, you're already an excellent lawn mower."

"Hrmph, not designed for me...isn't that discrimination?  What about Universal Access?  You said I am going to be a driving donkey, but now you tell me I can't drive.  I swear, you humans are so hard to understand, you have the goofiest language.  How do any of you communicate with each other?

"We do have problems with that sometimes, but we work with what we have.  Do you have another suggestion?

"Of course, you all should learn how to speak Donkey.  Then there would be no more misunderstandings and all would be right with the world.   There, now that that is settled and I have found the path to world peace and since you aren't going to teach me to drive like you promised...I see some grass that needs my attention.  I better go deal with this the donkey way."   Me pull a sled...absurd...Mom sure does have some foolish notions...


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