A bit of useless trivia for you...

Have you ever wondered how to make a horse turn green with envy while simultaneously driving a Border Collie crazy AND confusing them both at the same time?  Well, just in case you ever need to know the answer to this odd bit of trivia, I'll share it with you.  It is super easy.  All you have to do is open a gate for a second while the chubby horse's back is turned and let the pregnant donkey out onto the lawn to nibble new grass.  Horse is immediately consumed with frustrated jealousy.  Border Collie is immediately aghast at this blatant breakage of the Number One Rule that says unsupervised equines are NOT allowed out of the fence.   Both are totally confounded that the human has done such a thing.  Donkey is blissfully unconcerned.

An Overheard Conversation

"So Emma, do you think we should include the new guy in our plots?"

"I don't know Tess, I'm not sure we'd gain anything by it."

"Well, we haven't managed to get into the feed room or out the gate on our own."

"True, but what we need are some opposable thumbs not a big, pink snout like he has.  Just look at that thing will you...

It's about as prehensile as a stump.  He's also got those silly, mismatched ears.  You poor horses have such pathetic, little ears to start with and his don't even match.  Makes me wonder if his brain is entirely right, being out of balance and all.  The boy probably needs an alignment or something."

"Well, it doesn't seem to bother him any and he does have a lot of energy and brute strength." 

"Yeah, tell me about it.  He keeps trying to play 'Chase-the-Donkey'.  I mean really, do I LOOK like a Jolly-Ball?"

"Well, you have gotten kind of round lately and your ears do....well, sorry never-mind, of course you don't look like a Jolly-Ball." 


"Hmmph.  Besides Tess, if he broke out he'd get so excited we'd all probably end up in the next county.  That seems like WAAAY too much work.  What that boy needs is a job."


"You know, I heard a rumor that he's getting shipped off to boot camp sometime."


"Oh yeah? That seems like a good idea.  Maybe they'll teach him some commando tricks or something and when he gets back he'll be able to help out.  In the meantime, I'll think about it and keep an eye on him, you have to be careful of someone with so many spots you know."

"Hey, I have just as many spots."

"Yeah, but yours are red, it makes all the difference.  Those black and white ones, especially ones with mismatched ears...you have to keep a close eye on them..."

The Conspiracy Continues

"OK Tess, we have to figure out how to bust out of here, I'm about to die of boredom and I just KNOW she has treats in her pocket.  We just have to get past this darned gate."

"I tell you what, you distract her and I'll try to figure out this chain-latch thing.  Can you handle that?"

"Got it Em, I know just the thing...."

Time Lapse

About me

The other day when the winner of my horse naming contest sent me her address she started her email with something like, "ironically, I cant find your name anywhere".  That got me thinking that I haven't really introduced myself.  So, I will try to tell you a little about me, Kris Maxwell.

Growing up , I always wanted to be a vet and was well on my way to it but got sidetracked by some serious health problems (for example, I had pneumonia 6 times in two years).  Instead of going to vet school I ended up with dual degrees in equine science and agricultural technology and eventually, an associates in Histology.  Don't worry if you have never heard of that one, hardly anyone has.  What is means, is that I work in a hospital lab handling tissue specimens.  Not exactly my dream come true but it pays the bills. 

Along the way, I spent several years working in an animal shelter and I have given riding and horsemanship lessons on and off for many years.  Not so much anymore as there just doesn't seem to be that many people interested in getting started with horses anymore and I don't have the time to devote to it.

For many years, I spent a lot of time working with my best friend on her farm where we raise grassfed beef and lamb.  Along with chickens, pigs and vegetables.  I don't do as much as I used to there but, the farm is still a big part of my life.  One of these days I'll give you a proper introduction.  It is a beautiful farm owned by a remarkably hard-working woman.  I got a start on my carpentry skills by building the windows in the barn....

A couple of years ago I decided to build a house.  This had never really been a goal of mine but, having my own farm that did not include a huge mortgage was.  I decided to do most of the work myself more out of desperation than a desire to become a carpenter.  I just couldn't afford to pay what it would have cost to hire someone to do the work.  Also, finding and dealing with contractors turned into one of the most frustrating and infuriating experiences of my life.  If just one more of them had told me to "have my husband call"....well lets just say it wouldn't have been pretty.  I did finally find someone to put the shell of my building up and I did the rest, from insulation to hardwood floor.  It isn't perfect and there is still some work to be done but, it is cozy, comfortable, mine and it is paid for.

A year or two ago, I met a fellow horsewoman who lives just down the road from me and she has become my other best friend and riding buddy.  There was a time that I almost gave up having horses because a lot of the fun had gone out of it.  Having a friend to ride with who understands about the horses has made all the difference.  We have a great time bushwhacking through the woods and riding in the very rare parade.

A few months ago, I was still grieving over Tessa's life altering injury and unsure what to do next.  Looking for a safe, cheap companion for her, I found a little donkey who needed rescuing.  You all know what that has led to.  Lord only knows where we will all end up next.

First snow

We had our first real snow here last night.  We have been enjoying unseasonably nice weather the last few weeks and really, I wish it would stay that way all year.  I hate snow.  The snow we had last night was just about enough.  After all, it's obvious that it did snow.  It just didn't amount to much and it won't last long if we don't get anymore.  It's that "if" that's the problem.  It is only wishful thinking on my part that we won't get more, lots more, of the stuff.   Last year we had so much snow and then more and more on top of that......well lets not talk about that, I haven't fully recovered from the trauma of it.

This snow is about what snow ought to be; fairly innocuous, not deep, picturesque and followed  by a nice, calm, sunny day (where lots of it melts).  I went out and did what everybody does, I tried to take pictures of the pretty snow trees (what else would you do with a tree covered in snow?).  Tanner does enjoy the snow just as long as it isn't too deep.  Actually, he loves snow, even the deep stuff, but he gets bogged down in it and struggling through it makes him very lame. 

Tessa also likes snow but, Emma, I think she is on my side.  She would have been so small last winter that not even her ears would have cleared the drifts.  I am guessing that she doesn't have fond memories of last years trauma  er, um winter either.  She spent all afternoon wandering around rather dejectedly, looking for bits of grass.  They did both came over to pose for some photos (although Emma just wanted to go somewhere warmer and if that wasn't going to happen would I, "please just get the white stuff off the pasture".  She is a desert animal after all) 

"HOW long until Spring?????"

The Morning Lineup

Emma & Tessa:  We're so starved for attention that the whole hill is listing to the side.  Come out quick or we might fall over.
Tanner:  PLEEEEASE come and play JollyBall or basketball.  Frisbee would do as well.

Emma & Tessa:   We've checked......

 and double checked ....

but, there is no one else here to provide carrots and chin scratching

Tanner:  I'm being the soul of patience here but, for once, I agree with the equines.  Would you please get moving.  Better yet, just kick the ball and I'll do the rest!