Good As New

"Say Ma, WHAT is that thing?  That can't really be what I think it is can it?"

"Huh?  Oh that's just my rain coat.  What's the big deal?  You saw it all the time last winter."

"Yeah, I kinda thought maybe that's what it was.  I just didn't think I'd see it again given its condition.  Why don't you'd get a new one? How old is it anyway?"

"Oh it's not that old, I've only had it since...um...well...hmmm, I suppose maybe it is a little older than I thought, but it's still OK!"

"Sheesh Ma, are you kidding?!  I mean, c'mon, LOOK at this thing...."

"Well, it's not that easy to find a rain coat that fits just right you know.  Besides, it's not that bad, the duct tape works great.  And you know how I feel about shopping." ugh, shudder

"Hmph, you aren't gonna make ME wear something this decrepit are you?"

"Heavens NO!  You know I'd never let my donkey be caught dead in something this ratty!"

"Well, that's good to know.  At least you have your priorities straight.  Although you might want to think about that Ma, maybe you ought to go see a therapist or something."

"I don't need a therapist, that's what you're here for."

"Oh yeah, right.  Say Ma, why don't you just buy a new coat from the same place you got this one a hundred and ten years ago?"

"That's a good idea except that I think I stole this from an ex-boyfriend a year or two before he became an ex.  Hmm, that was a long time ago now I think about it.  Oh well, at least I got something useful out of that relationship."

"Well, maybe you need to find a new boyfriend who has good raincoats that you can steal.  I suppose that could work."

"You know, I think I'll just add a couple more pieces of duct tape on that seam instead, I'm sure I can get a few more years out it yet."

"Ma, you're completly hopeless."

"I know.  Good thing you donkeys love me no matter how I'm dressed."