Sunday, July 7, 2013

Tanner Speaks Out Against the Unfairness of it All

You humans really have to rethink this whole 4th of July concept.  It's bad enough already, what with the hot, hot, hot and the bugs, bugs, bugs AND I had to take refuge in the bathtub three times already this weekend. I keep trying to explain to Mom that it is the only safe place to be during storms. She just doesn't get it, even after all these years.  Mom is a good human and I can't imagine life without her, but she can be awfully dense at times. I do try hard to look after her, but it isn't easy.

And then there's the bombs in the air thing.  WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?  Mom says they are just fireworks and I don't need to worry.   See what I mean about her being a bit dense sometimes?

Tonight was the WORST.  The neighbors had a big party with huge, HUGE bombs.  Even Mom was muttering about fools and idiots setting off giant bombs directly over the top of their 1970's trailer house; being glad that everything is so wet that not even a moron with a rocket could make the field burn and that this is why her driveway is 300 feet long.

All you people out there are probably wondering how the prey animals took the massive explosions going off 50 feet over their heads.  The horse got a little nervous the first time, but the donkeys didn't care.   Huge, HUGE BOMBS going off over their heads and they didn't CARE! It just goes to show that those donkeys aren't as smart as everyone thinks.

Do you know what the absolute worst thing was though?  As if heat, humidity, bugs, thunder and BOMBS wasn't enough; Mom took me to the VET today.  Can you blame me if I told that horrible, evil vet that I would bite her if she touched me? So what if I broke a tooth and I'm having episodes of bad lameness.  I'm fine, FINE.  There is no reason to subject a good dog like me to such torture. 

At least they did listen to me.  Finally.   Mom says my tooth is OK as is, she got some medicine for me and, best of all, she says that she and the vet agreed that I am not going to have to go back there.  The humans will try to work things out over the phone as any aid the vet can offer is nullified by the trauma that visiting the terrible, evil place causes me.

I think the vet is just afraid I'll bite her.  That's OK with me and I guess that is why a good dog should never give up on his person. She may be dense at times, but she does try.

Now that I've got all this off my chest, I guess I might make it through this awfullest of holidays.   Mom says the worst of the bombings should be over with (although I am not at all sure that I believe her), she has stuff to make me feel better when I need it, I get to keep all of my teeth, there was no thunder tonight and I have my very own fan.  I suppose things could be worse.  Maybe. 

Now, if everyone would just learn to play Frisbee or chase sticks instead of setting off bombs, the world would be a much better place.


  1. Agreed Tanner. Everybody here hates the bombs too. Frisbee is a much better idea.

  2. They have "Thunder Shirts" to help dogs not be afraid of the fireworks. Also, Rescue Remedy might help. Poor Tanner.

  3. Aww, Tanner!! My Lab Daisy hated hated hated the 4th of July AND thunderstorms. She would crawl under the coffee table and I would put a blanket over her head which helped, but she was still miserable.

    Our neighborhood was filled with Bombs too and no pretty colors. What's the point?

    Blossom, on the other head is as "dumb" as the donkeys (HA)! The only thing that makes him miserable is not playing ball when I get home. Daisy taught him how to fetch. Very unusual for a terrier/shepherd type, although we need two balls going at once or he won't drop one of them!

  4. Oh, Tanner, I'm so sorry for all the trauma you've been through this week!!! You're a beautiful dog, but I hate to tell you I think my cat, the Beautiful Calico Queen, is braver than you are! She doesn't hide from storms or bombs or even the loud riding mower that goes past my apartment window - she sits in the window and watches everything, even lightning!!! Of course, she might run from Tessa and the donkeys, as she's never seen anything that big!!!

    Nancy in Iowa

  5. I agree with you, Tanner. Venting frustrations always helps along with quiet days and lots of TLC. Feel better soon.

  6. Umm, Tanner, have you been talking to The Gus? He was giving me the same Humans Are Dense lecture just this morning!

  7. Tanner we had rockets and BOMBS going off all night on the 4th. I stayed in my mom's lap and stuck my head under her lap blanket. I growled at the bombs a few times.

    I don't like loud bangs either and the donkeys and mules didn't care one bit. I think the fireworks were further away...but it was loud enough to make even the old Grumpy Gus get up and look out the window. He hates them too.

    Hope your day gets better~
    Morris Ewing, Jack Russell