Thursday, November 16, 2017

The Buddy System

 The super scary insulated water tub finally made it all the way into the barn.

Just in time too as the weather has taken a sudden dramatic dip into winter.  Ben still had some concerns that the terrible water demons might come back.  Scary monsters which should not be confused with the frisbee demon.

After much careful thought and wary inspection, Ben finally decided to put his faith in the buddy system.  If Emma says it's safe, then it must be safe.

It's always good to have a buddy when confronting monsters. 

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Rioting Protestors

This Fall, I have been trying, again, to get everyone to accept grazing muzzles.  All I can say is that I have finally found something that all the donkeys agree on wholeheartedly. 

And yes, Ramsey's muzzle is half off, Emma is in the wrong place and the fence is all messed up.  That's what happens when the populace starts rioting in the streets.

I finally fenced off the yard again and let them all out on the lawn, much to Connor's dismay (you can never please everybody).

There was much excitement at first at the joy of being loose in forbidden territory. 

The excitement quickly morphed into dismayed disgust and betrayal when they found that the muzzles worked on the lawn too.  There was much complaining, demanding and pleading.  I finally opted for the better part of valor and left them to hide work on my new shed.

Maybe by the time Spring gets here they'll have accepted the necessity.  One can hope right?

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Comfort Food

I don't normally post recipes because I am a highly indifferent cook.  However, with all the chaos in the world (which I am not indifferent to, but neither do I have any words for), I thought we could all use a bit of comfort food. 

This is a super easy recipe that even non-cooks will like.  It allows you to consume large amounts of sugar-free, calorie-free, fat-free, gluten-free, guilt-free chocolate.  It has ZERO calories and may even help you lose weight and lower your blood pressure.  There are no dishes to wash and the ingredient list is super short.  All you need are two ingredients:

1. First, you will need a pair of these.

They come in a variety of flavors, just pick the one that appeals to you.

2.  Second, you need a chocolate donkey (you can substitute any other type of furry critter here, dappled donkeys also provide very nice results, but the chocolate really melts down nicely.)

3.  Apply the first ingredient liberally and firmly to the second ingredient and you will soon have a lovely pile of melted chocolate.  Feel free to consume as much as you like as often as you like.  It is guaranteed to make you, and your chocolate, feel better. 

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Taking the Devil's Word

After reading Ben's Tale Of Terror, you will understand why I have to make any changes to the water system very carefully and gradually.  Ben is fully stubborn enoug to die of dehydration before he compromises his values. 

My water hydrant is just on the other side of that barn wall to the left and the stock tank is just below it.  This winter, I would like to go back to using my insulated, heated water tub instead of the stock tank.

It was not big enough for four animals, which is why I had to use the tank heater last winter, but it is just right for the three donkeys.  If I can get Ben to drink out of it.

In the hope of convincing a very skeptical Ben that the blue tub is not actually filled with donkey-eating-monsters, I've had it sitting out in front of the barn for a week now so he can get used to it. 

I move the tub to a new spot every few days and Ramsey has been demonstrating its safety.  He loves the blue tub and prefers it over all other water sources, which just goes to show how fickle the individual preferences of donkeys can be. 

Ramsey is doing his best to set a good example for Ben.  Whether Ben will take the word of a Little Brown Devil is yet to be seen 

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

A Very, Very Scary Story

"Hello blog world, Ben here.  I've heard about this blog thing for a while now, I'm a bit dubious, but I feel that it is important to tell this story so that others will be aware of a grave danger that they may encounter.

Last year, about this time, my human, who I am generally quite fond of, was possessed by a dark, evil demon who led her to do a terrible, awful thing.  

I must preface this terrible story with some facts that you may not be aware of so that you can fully comprehend the evilness of this foul deed.  Watering holes are very dangerous places for a donkey, they attract predators and one can never know just what sort of monster is lurking in those shimmery depths, just waiting for a tender, delicate muzzle to be lowered into reach of claws and teeth.  Water must always be approached with wary, careful, alertness.  

Now that you know this, imagine my horror when the water trough, our only source of life sustaining hydration, was invaded by a monstrous demon of such hideous ferocity that just the mere thought would make your ears curl.  It had a huge, gaping, black maw surrounded by terrible, fierce fangs dripping with saliva at the thought of sinking themselves into a velvety soft nose.  It was covered in flat, grey scales, the color of ugly, slow death.  Behind it was a long, slithery, snake like tail coiled all around with venomous tendrils.  

As if this were not bad enough, my human, the one Emma and the Little Brown Devil call Ma, the one, as I mentioned, I am fond of - she was taken over by this dark, fearsome spirit.  Under this foul influence, she did her best to convince me that the monster was harmless!  

She succeeded in this awful plan with the others of my herd.  They fell, one-by-one, under her tainted spell.  I was not surprised when the horse gave in, she has impaired auditory senses after all.  She is only a horse and can't be blamed for her failings, but the other donkeys....Oh, the terror of it all.  

It was a dark, dark time indeed.

Fortunately, I was able to holdfast to my true donkey nature and eventually, it broke through the noxious spell that had been laid upon my human.  She finally shrugged off the evil taint and, with her help, we were able to banish the monster back down into the lowest regions of Hell from whence it had spawned!

I tell you this story as a warning so that you will be aware of this danger and can recognize it when you see it.  My fellow equines, do not let your guard down! These monsters can creep into your world and you must remain ever vigilant.  Keep a sharp eye on your humans, lest they be taken over by the demons and start placing these items in your water.  BE CAREFUL!!!

So that you can more easily recognize the demon, I have convinced to human to include a photo of it.  This may be hard to look at, but for your own sake, I beg you, do not turn away!"

Blogger's note: For anyone who may not recognize these, they are stock tank heaters that keep the herd's water from freezing in the winter.  They are both new.  I gave up on the grey demon on the left after two weeks and bought the red one.  I was finally able to convince Ben that the red heater would not eat him.