I know there are lots of people out there who are wondering why and if it's permanent or temporary and all sorts of other stuff. I don't mean to be mysterious.
The truth is, I haven't answered those questions because I don't know the answer myself right now.
There is a lot going on. I may be looking for a new job. I may not. I may be going back to the night shift. Or not.
As much as the mystery may be bugging you, it's nothing to my own frustration.
But here is a truth you may have noticed about me - I am a fixer.
When things break, go wrong, don't work, whatever; I may flail around for a bit - curse, swear, rage, cry, whatever. Then I get on with fixing it.
This near compulsion is usually a double edged sword and is often a burden that I would like to put down. People tell me about problems and my mind immediately starts trying to come up with a solution. That may sound like a good thing, but most people don't actually want solutions, they just want to talk about the problem. Long after they've said their piece and moved on my stubborn mind is still trying to fix the problem. It causes me a great deal of frustration and bafflement. I purposely limit my exposure to news for the same reason. It is not that I don't care. It is that I care too much, that I can't help thinking of solutions that no one wants. That, and the curse of empathy.
Still, a fixer is who I am, even when I wish it were otherwise.
I don't know how I am going to fix this yet, but fix it I will.
Because here is another fundamental truth of my life - no one else is going to.
I've been employed since I was 11 years old. I've been supporting myself since I was 16. I've paid for every flake of hay my horses have ever eaten and that is not going to change.
My herd may be confused by my odd shifting of night and day, but they will continue to live in the luxury to which they are accustomed.
Because I will fix this.