- Call the guy I pay to plow the driveway in the forlorn hope that he somehow just forgot me. No. Blown-in snow is too dense and heavy to plow. He tried and got no more than 3 feet.
- Call the farm down the road and see if they could possibly come over with their big tractor and 7' wide snow blower. No, the big tractor is broken (at least I'm not the only one).
- Call the other guy guy down the road and see if he could come with his tractor and front-end loader to dig me out. No. That tractor is broken too. It's an epidemic of useless, crappy, old machinery.
- Acknowledge the truth that I knew all along - this problem is up to me, myself and I to fix. We'd better stop squabbling and whining and get to work.
- Drag in precious little Prima Dona snow blower so it can warm up by the fire cause noway, nohow is Precious gonna start without it's morning warmup.
7. Exercise extreme restraint and DO NOT have screaming, swearing fit at stir-crazy Border Collie puppy when he attacks the shovel for the 500th time. Get him appropriate toy and resume. Again.
Only a 1000 miles still to go.
8. Rejoice in momentary feeling of triumph when we finally get to the end.
9. Squelch idiotic moment of triumph cause we aren't even remotely done yet.
10. Call work and tell them I am just as likely to get to the moon today as I am to get to work.
11. Finally get Precious started and doing some work. Be sure to only feed it small bites of snow so that Precious doesn't choke.
12 through 379. Repeat, repeat, repeat....
380. Go in to house to use bathroom and warm up frozen hands. Leave gloves on wood-stove to warm up.
381. Run to answer phone, hoping someone is calling about a miraculous tractor repair. No, don't be silly.
382. Reach for glass to get a drink and smell something funny.
383. Rush downstairs and rescue gloves just before they burst into flames.
384. Throw more food at annoyed equines. Try to get fingers into scorched, shrunken gloves that now smell awful.
385 through 420. Repeat steps 12 - 379 until Precious runs out of gas.
421. DO have screaming, swearing fit at gas can when it proves to be empty.
422. Call RB and beg for more gas. Thank you RB and Noblewoman.
423. Repeat steps 12 - 379 until the @#% &! job is done at around 8:00pm.
424. Clean barn, fill hay nets, appease annoyed equines, find appropriate toy for puppy. Again.