"Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, Ma locked us out of the WOODS too!! She keeps telling us we are going to kill all the trees."
"Seriously people, if we were actually hurting the trees don't you think they would run away or scream or something? But noooo, they just stand there, all still and quiet, no matter what we do. So I ask you, how can we possibly be hurting them? It's just not fair!"
"Ma keeps going on on and on about how it's for our own good and she has to watch what we eat. As if we would EVER eat anything that we aren't supposed to."
"We really gave her an earful this morning though. As if all of this abuse weren't enough, she was LATE with our breakfast. Really, that was just too much. There is no excuse for such mean, unfair treatment and we let her (and everyone else in the county) know about it."
"She finally tried to appease us with this little bit of grass (which was very good), but far too little. Can't you see how stingy this is and how terribly malnourished and deprived we are?"
"We hate to do it, but we are thinking about starting a petition. Will you support us poor abused donkeys?"