Me, Myself and I

Yesterday morning:

Stumble out of bed, peer nearsightedly out the window to make sure that there are three donkey-shaped blobs somewhere in sight and head to the kitchen to get my desperately needed morning cup of tea started.

Notice right away that the water is not getting anywhere near as hot as it should and grumbel in annoyed irritation.

Stumble to shower hoping that I imagined the lack of hot water or that the water heater would miraculously fix itself in the time it takes me to walk the 10 feet from kitchen to bathroom.

Me: The water was really pretty warm wasn't it? There is nothing wrong.  There is nothing wrong....

Myself:  Get real dummy, you know the water heater is dying.  It's down there right now whining out its last gasp as we speak.

Me: It wasn't THAT cold.

Myself: Yeah, NOT today it's not, but you know what this means.

Me: It will hold out a bit longer, we just need to get through today because the vet is coming and we need to go see Rosie and then go to work.  The water heater is FINE.

Myself: You are such a poor, pitiful fool, but go ahead - cling to your denial.

I:  Hey look, both of you, shut-up.  The water is mostly warm, we can still have our shower and the world can go on.  We can handle this.  We'll just get a new heating element and fix the water heater tomorrow and all will be right with the world.  

This moring:

Stumble out of bed, peer nearsightedly out the window to make sure that there are three donkey-shaped blobs somewhere in sight and head to the kitchen to get my desperately needed morning cup of tea started.

Notice right away that the water does not get warm AT ALL. 

Me, Myself and I: no,on,no,no,on,no,no,on,no

Pitiful whimper at the idea of getting through the day without a hot shower.  Stumble towards the bathroom. 

Me: There could be hot water in the bathroom right?  Just because it is all the same water and the same pipe, the same heater....there could be hot water in the shower.  Miracles happen right?

Myself: Wrong.

Me: It was just a bad dream. There is hot water, there IS hot water.

Myself: This is bad.  I don't even have the heart to tell you how stupidly delusional you're being.  

Turn shower on.  Stare in numb horror at cascade of icy water.

Me: It really is cold.

Myself: Of course it's cold.  Did you think little elves would come over and fix it while you weren't looking?

Me: It was still warm yesterday.  Why can't it still be warm today?  It's just one day, it shouldn't have died that quick. One measly day!

Myself:  *sigh* How can we be so foolish?

I: We could try taking a cold shower.  It's supposed to be good for you.  Invigorating.  Brisk.  Healthy. 

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Me and Myself:  Are you out of you F******* MIND????

I:  Yeah, I am.  That's what happens when the world ends.